@ian.fowler | morningstar network

[wittingly]

Hey
Stop me if this is a stupid offer, I'm still trying to figure out how this whole thing works, but
I heard about the whole gate problem, and the whole simulation thing, there's probably more going on too that I don't know about yet
I'm an engineer
You guys might already have a few, but just in case you're shorthanded
If there's anything I can do to help, I want to

I can also apparently do a weird tools thing now so that's
something

edit: if anyone's in the market for crazy experiments in there
you guys glitch the sim when you do your chest thing, right?
anyone tried organizing a group glow-off? overwhelm the system with too much at once, DDOS it into crashing?

Comments

[evocation]

oh my god
what can you play wonderwall on?

[wittingly]

i think you know
deep down in your heart
you know what i can play wonderwall on

[evocation]

the kazoo
duh
record yourself and send it to me so i don't lose my mind

[wittingly]

[ it takes two hours and forty-five minutes. ]

ian.fowler would like to send you an attachment, would you like to upload now?

videofile01.mp3

[evocation]

holy shit
this is the most amazing thing anyone has ever given me
did it take you two and a half hours to find a kazoo?

[wittingly]

it's like you're psychic
who would've known that it wasn't the fossil fuel industry we should have been braced for, it was the impending kazoo scarcity

I personally blame that time ExxonMobil spilled 250,000 gallons of oil into the golf of mexico and the consequent near-extinction of the kazoo species, but that's probably a controversial conspiracy theory

[evocation]

did you do kazoo conservation back home?

[wittingly]

I consider it a personal failing that I wasn't socially aware of the kazoo movement

[evocation]

idk
you were too busy playing wonderwall at shitty basement parties i guess
wait
what was that tool thing you were talking about before?

[wittingly]

it was bonfires, thank you very much

so apparently I can sort of
remake shit, I don't know how to describe it
change a quarter to a nail, change the shape of a screwdriver or a wrench
turn something into something else

that doesn't sound like the coolest power, but in my line of work it's actually insanely useful

[evocation]

no, that sounds cool
can you change the kazoo?

[wittingly]

I can, actually
check it out

image_01.jpg

it sounds like shit but considering what it is I think that means I did it right

[evocation]

this is the best thing that's happened to me since i've been stuck in this stupid fucking sim

[wittingly]

hey so serious question about that
what is that like?
is it like VR?
how realistic are we talking?
do the laws of physics apply?
is there respawn or is it permadeath?
is there clipping or is the framerate flawless
is there a way to manipulate the code from inside?

[evocation]

jesus
it's realistic
the only reason we figured out it was probably a sim is because our powers glitch it
but it's not like shitty video game glitches or clipping or whatever
it's like for a second we can see where we're actually supposed to be in new amsterdam
my thing is magic, not coding, so idk
but you can get injured and feel pain and everything
and we're respawning when we die
it sucks

[wittingly]

wait a second
I'm gonna slip this into the original text as a suggestion:

if you guys glitch it when you use your powers, why not get a metric shitload of people to do that at once and see if you can overload it into tanking?

like spawning a thousand mudcrabs into skyrim at one time, if you're familiar with the analogy

[evocation]

because it doesn't always glitch
most of the time when i touch someone or try to use my power, nothing happens
but every once in a while it'll fuck up

[wittingly]

it's statistically more likely to happen if you have a lot of people doing it simultaneously

just a thought

[evocation]

yeah well
half of us are having breakdowns now so i don't know how i'm going to be able to rally the troops

[wittingly]

If only you guys had someone particularly skilled at a good old fashioned kumbaya in there

[evocation]

yeah
but i'm glad you're not in here with us
seriously

[wittingly]

what's it like?
I've only heard a little

[evocation]

like every shitty apocalypse movie ever rolled into one
we're in this bunker thing and the air outside is so fucked no one can go outside without it burning their skin and lungs
except some of us have to go outside on these supply runs
and those people get tortured and killed
it feels like it's all really happening even though it isn't

[wittingly]

actually sounds a little bit like where I'm from, honestly

minus the safety bunker

[evocation]

wait, seriously?