@ian.fowler | morningstar network

[wittingly]

Hey
Stop me if this is a stupid offer, I'm still trying to figure out how this whole thing works, but
I heard about the whole gate problem, and the whole simulation thing, there's probably more going on too that I don't know about yet
I'm an engineer
You guys might already have a few, but just in case you're shorthanded
If there's anything I can do to help, I want to

I can also apparently do a weird tools thing now so that's
something

edit: if anyone's in the market for crazy experiments in there
you guys glitch the sim when you do your chest thing, right?
anyone tried organizing a group glow-off? overwhelm the system with too much at once, DDOS it into crashing?

Comments

[wittingly]

sorry, it's
kind of a life-long habit

[ and part of what helped a low-income poverty line kid make it all the way through high school, then into college, then clear through grad school despite all odds.

since you asked: ]

you ever fall through the toilet

[evocation]

nope
do you think i'd tell the truth if i had?

[wittingly]

I feel like we're developing a bond here, NYC
relationships are built on a foundation of trust and honesty

about whether or not you ever fell through a toilet

[evocation]

i don't know
what if i tell you and you end up breaking my heart?
i'd never recover

[wittingly]

go breaking your heart?
I couldn't if I tried

[evocation]

you're right
i'm too much of a badass
how about you tell me an embarrassing story and i'll tell you the truth

[wittingly]

does running away from a detached finger not count?

[evocation]

nope
pony up the goods professor

[wittingly]

the issue here is I don't have any big embarrassing moments

I need something to work with for inspiration, because apparently my history is smooth and classy
I don't know, ask me something specific

[evocation]

bullshit
what's the most embarrassing thing you've done while you were wasted?

[wittingly]

I wanna point out if you're wasted enough you won't remember
woke up on the roof of a car once
fell off a garage
DEFINITELY excessively hit on people who in hindsight were not even remotely interested but I missed the hint entirely

[evocation]

boring
but i guess it counts
i actually haven't fallen through the toilet
one of those times with the chair i ate shit and brought a whole bowl of soup down with me though

[wittingly]

by the power vested in me by the state of california
i legally require you to text me the first time you fall through a toilet

for now I'm satisfied with your soup failure.

[evocation]

does this mean we're bffs now?
sharing our deepest regrets and all
or is this like extortion

[wittingly]

are those two things mutually exclusive?
do I have to pick

[evocation]

yep
or else i'm giving you a shitty review on rate my professor

[wittingly]

it's extortion
100%

[evocation]

you're getting a 0
but only because i don't think it goes into negatives

[wittingly]

look at you already tanking my career opportunities
if I could double extort you I would
triple extortion
what's the maximum amount of extorted someone can get

that much is how much I'd extort you right now

[evocation]

like fifty probably
what else are you even going to extort me for?

[wittingly]

I don't know, what else you got?
Let's explore some options

[evocation]

i'm not going to help you extort me
you're on your own, mr. smarty pants engineer

[wittingly]

extortion was supposed to be like a recreational hobby for me but you're making it really difficult for me to enjoy myself with all this 'figure it out yourself' talk. it's just so inconsiderate.

I'm starting to think it's not even worth extorting you at all

your loss, man, I got like 6 other people waiting in line for me to extort them, you don't know what you're missing

[evocation]

aww
poor thing
maybe you should build a bridge and get over it
get it? because you're an engineer?

[ha ha]

[wittingly]

I hope you're on a date when you fall through that first toilet