@ian.fowler | morningstar network

[wittingly]

Hey
Stop me if this is a stupid offer, I'm still trying to figure out how this whole thing works, but
I heard about the whole gate problem, and the whole simulation thing, there's probably more going on too that I don't know about yet
I'm an engineer
You guys might already have a few, but just in case you're shorthanded
If there's anything I can do to help, I want to

I can also apparently do a weird tools thing now so that's
something

edit: if anyone's in the market for crazy experiments in there
you guys glitch the sim when you do your chest thing, right?
anyone tried organizing a group glow-off? overwhelm the system with too much at once, DDOS it into crashing?

Comments

[wittingly]

so when I was in high school my mom worked 2 jobs, no father in the picture
so basically after school I was pretty much 0 supervision
me and my friends used to break into abandoned buildings and stuff

this one time we broke into this abandoned house right outside of town limits
we were smoking pot and doing urban exploration or whatever they call it now
my friend Dusty opened up this cabinet and found a 40 bottle

with a fucking finger inside of it

[evocation]

[Oh, hey. She can relate to the shitty father thing. But also...]

what the fuck
was it like
full on meat or just the bones?

[wittingly]

full meat
he freaked out and dropped the bottle, glass shattered everywhere, and the fucking thing went rolling across the floor

[evocation]

that's so fucking gross
did you guys just leave it there?
what do you even do when you find a finger?

[wittingly]

well
I was stoned as fuck
sixteen years old
never seen a severed finger before

I crawled out the nearest window and ran like hell

[evocation]

oh my god
that's amazing
do you even know if it was real?

[wittingly]

why would someone put a fake finger in an empty 40 bottle of Hurricane and hide it in a cabinet in an abandoned house?

[evocation]

i would totally do that to screw with some dumb teenagers
it's like when people redo their floors and paint demon summoning shit underneath for the next person to find

[wittingly]

wow
that is the mark of a truly terrible person
I bet they don't return their shopping carts either

[evocation]

oh come on
half of those summoning circles are just made by goth kids trying to look cool
why would someone put a real finger in a bottle and leave it there?

[wittingly]

you ever met a homeless person drunk on 40 ounces of malt liquor?
they're fucking crazy

[evocation]

wait
do you think the homeless guy cut off his own finger or someone else's?

[wittingly]

i feel like until we ask him, that finger both is and is not the homeless man's own finger

schrodfinger

[evocation]

shut up
that was amazing

[wittingly]

I do what I can
some people might call me a hero
not me, obviously, I'd never call myself that but
some people?
maybe
I can't speak for them

[evocation]

okay, superman
get me out of here and i'll fall at your feet
deal?

[wittingly]

deal
and hey listen when you do get out and they try and tell you somebody way more competent and experienced and powerful than me did it, they're joshing you
it's definitely gonna be me

I'm just too humble to accept the credit

[evocation]

got it
i'll get a tattoo of your face and everything
tell me the other story

[Is she transparently using this as a distraction? Yes.]

[wittingly]

[ yeah it's okay, he figured that's the case. always happy to be an entertainer. ]

so I teach undergraduates mostly, sophmores, juniors, around that age

and Berkeley is considered the ivy league of public schools, which is the stupidest combination of words, but

it means it's full of rich kids who bought their way in and didn't really have to work for it at all, no real prestige, just dad cash

it means sometimes you get these kids who don't take it seriously

I got this one a couple of years back who put in exactly 0 effort. Pulled him into a meeting to talk about his grades and he told me he didn't have to study because he was gonna hit it big selling his idea to that one reality TV show where you pitch your invention or whatever and they invest in you right?

[evocation]

tell me it was like a dick holster or something

[wittingly]

nope

it was oranges with built in wet wipes

so he misses class for a week to do the show
he shows back up a week later looking crushed
I asked him how it went and he said

"they wouldn't take me because i couldn't figure out how to get the wipe in there"

[evocation]

no way
you are totally lying to me
how did you not laugh in his face?

[wittingly]

because I'm a professional

my TA laughed in his face, though, and then I lost my shit right after

[evocation]

how do you survive teaching? i'd lose my mind

[wittingly]

you get a few stories like that where people obviously don't care about being there, or their future but

most of them do, and I really fucking love that
you get these young kids with really bright minds and really high ambitions thinking they're gonna change the world

you get to help them do that, or try to at least

every once and a while it works, and you get to feel that forever pretty much
that's something you get to keep with you long after they're gone