@robert.plant

[righteously]

Alright folks, it only took fifty years but I put together a little somethin somethin to supplement Lance's compendium of relevant history. You might wanna read that first if you care about the bigger picture and not just the spooky scary skeletons at your back door.

It's a bestiary, aka a monster handbook. Should be everything we know lore-wise about the monsters along with a list of all the species we've run into so far. I know a few people here beat me out by eight months or something, so if I'm missing anything let me know.

I could also use some deets on the dreams from incident 2, so fill me in if you know about it.

Magical Monsters and Where to Shoot Them

I got some complaints from some non-21st century earth types the last time I talked about this, so my associate Castiel Angelofthelord McFlappywings Winchester provided some non-pop culture context for your viewing pleasure.

Whoever's in charge of the welcome pamphlet, maybe you wanna shove this in there too

If any of you assclowns edits something and ruins it I'll personally come to your apartment and put bouillon cubes in your shower head, then turn off edit rights

Comments

@john.blake

[oversight]

Not to be difficult, but how exactly is an "upright snake" different from a dragon? Does it have a snake's head?

[righteously]

Too human-y to be a dragon. Also, not

dragon-y enough

[oversight]

With all this technology why no pictures?

[righteously]

Well I for one was trapped in a soul-crushing simulation when the upright snakes were going on

wasn't here for the ones before then, and I was a little bit busy fighting them & keeping people from getting brutally murdered during the tiny little apocalypse so

if anybody has some selfies to contribute to the cause, let me know

[oversight]

Nothing personal. I'm guessing there are some logistics issues, anyway.

Another question: Is "soul crushing" a literal term or a supposition?

[righteously]

normal soul crushing, not something reached into my metaphysical essence and gave my mortal tether a squeeze

[oversight]

Okay.

And Jenna Jameson?

[righteously]

She deserves to be honored, god rest her soul

[oversight]

You mentioned no-pop culture context. Where can I find that?

[righteously]

It's in the annoying little parenthesis notes.

Unless you mean where can you find jenna jameson

you're on your own there buddy

@castiel.winchester

[unwings]

I attempted to translate what I could of Dean's references. Which terms are you having trouble with?

[oversight]

Everything outside the parentheses. It's not the information I take issue with but the lack of certain details makes it a bit difficult to interpret. Not a complaint, just a note. I'm not sure how relevant it is.

[righteously]

90% of this crap is literally fourth-hand information I got by scrolling through 11 month old ancient network posts with a thousand comments of spam and smalltalk picking out relevant information so

Tell you what

You get together a nice comprehensive guide better than mine and I'll laminate it & put it in the all the bathrooms for everyone to read

You want anything else while I'm at it? Glass of water? Dry cleaning? My first born?

[oversight]

Two of the three would be fine. And for the record, I appreciate the lamination aspect. That's thoughtful.

Are you otherwise telling me that when you received this fourth-hand knowledge it came with the references (for context)? You didn't add them?

[unwings]

Dean.

[ that's it, that's the reprimand. moving on. ]

Mr. Blake, it may serve you better to review Lance Sweets' compendium for those details. We aimed to keep this document focused on creature threats alone, though I imagine that's left out a good deal of context.

Would it help to add more notes on related topics to refer to for further details?

[righteously]

Just to be clear

you're asking me whether or not I individually linked the thousands of texty emoji riddled comments over the last year of posts I had to pull each scrap of info from

@kyna.medina

[evocation]

just say the names suck
we're all thinking it

[righteously]

what, you think you could do better?
let's hear some examples

[evocation]

come on
monster names are supposed to be spooky

[righteously]

"Horrifying Nightmare Fuel Spider People" doesn't cut it?

[evocation]

it's not
you know
eloquent or whatever

@jimmy.page

[remorseful]

He once named a new monster "Jefferson Starships."

[evocation]

what the fuck was it?
and what is that even a reference to?

[remorseful]

A band from the mid-1970s. They evolved from another group.

The Jefferson Starships were an evolved set of monsters created by the Mother of All Monsters. (Also known as Eve.)

It was actually a pretty good name.

[righteously]

this is the kind of moral support i need right now