@marcos.diaz

[heliophilous]

with everything that's gone on lately, i had a question.

if given the choice, how many people would stay here and how many people would leave? i get that it's a pretty personal question and don't feel like you've gotta answer. i'm just curious considering the way the place has changed lately and the people that have been lost.

could you live your life here? or would you leave and take your chances?

Comments

[motivation]

guess you gotta ask yourself if the shit you've got to do is more important than those attachments

[heliophilous]

it is.

i can't stay no matter how much i might want to.

[motivation]

do you want to?

[heliophilous]

does it matter if i do? i can't.

[motivation]

guess not, then

[heliophilous]

guess not.

it's not really worth thinking about, you know. if i can't, why torment myself with the possibility that i can?

[motivation]

if you didn't want to stay, it wouldn't be torture

[heliophilous]

i guess.

but, i'll deal with it. got through one bout of torture, i can get through that if it comes to it.

[motivation]

oh, fun

[ definitely the correct response to learning someone's been tortured, right ]

[heliophilous]

not the word i'd use to describe it but sure.

guess some people might think that.

[motivation]

need a drink?

[heliophilous]

yeah.

might be nice.

[motivation]

you know where my bar is

[ "hers" like she isn't still a bouncer and nothing more ]

[heliophilous]

i do.

that an invitation?

[motivation]

why don't you come find out

[heliophilous]

well, with encouragement like that, how can i resist?

i'll be there when in a little while.

[motivation]

see you

idk if you wanna go to action so if you don't, just ignore meeee

[heliophilous]

[ eventually, he shows up. he knows she's not waiting with bated breath for his presence and there are things he has to take care of before he's free for the night to have a drink or two or four.

but, he gets there eventually and takes a seat at the bar, elbows braced against the grainy wood. it's not that crowded tonight but he's far from the only person around.

when she makes her way over to him, he half smiles, nods. ] Good to finally meet you. Whatever you've got that's strong is what I want.

i wanna tho

[motivation]

[ dutch isn't waiting with bated breath. she's not really waiting at all, not sure if he'll show up or not. half the time, she's on the network during her working hours out of boredom more than for any other reason.

the other half of the time, things are interesting here.

he takes long enough that her shift is over, someone else taking over security for the rest of the evening (someone bigger and stronger and less effective but more imposing-looking than she is), so she makes it over to him. ]

I'm not a waitress.

[ dryly. but she reaches over the bar and fishes for a bottle of scotch that she knows is there. the perks of working here. after a moment, she fishes for two glasses, too. ]

well good!

[heliophilous]

My mistake. [ that's his apology right there. he waits till she grabs the bottle and then the glasses before taking one and pouring his own drink. see, he's capable enough and to further illustrate that, he pours her one too. ]

Something got you in the mood for a drink or is it just a default state for you? [ nothing but curiosity behind that question. his voice is quiet, calm while he sips at the scotch and savors the burn of the booze sliding down his throat. ]

[motivation]

[ it's close enough to an apology to count, really. and pouring her a drink counts for something, too. although she takes it, downs all of it in one go and holds her glass out for a refill essentially immediately.

deceptively lightly: ]

Can't it be both?

[heliophilous]

Sure it can.

[ he pours some more liquor into the glass before taking a few more sips of his own. ]

But is it?

[motivation]

[ does she want to admit that something's got her in the mood, that johnny being gone means she's been trying to not think for a while now?

apparently, yes. ]

Yeah.

[ she slows down for the second glass at least, taking a generous swallow instead of downing all of it. ]

[heliophilous]

[ well, he can't really do anything about the default state but he can ask about the mood. ]

So, what's happened that's made you want to drink?

[ which he does. ]

[motivation]

[ annnd there goes the rest of the drink down her throat again. ]

Johnny's gone. Disappeared.