@yalena.yardeen

[motivation]

what the hells?

[ that's it. guess who definitely wasn't expecting to be on a train to new tokyo? yeah. ]

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[saviorexe]

I’m fine.

[How many times will Fitz hear that in their term of their friendship? Start the tally now. At least he gives an addendum:]

Waking up was miserable, but everything’s functional, nothing’s broken. And don’t apologize; you got Cain to agree, and that’s all that matters.

I’m more worried about you. Do you need me over right now? For anything?

[retravel]

Reckon I took a few hard knocks in the other realities. Timelines. Dreams. Don't know yet.
But whatever happened to us was the worst, so don't think you're off on "fine."

[ a beat. ]

I have to check in with someone first, then I'm all yours. Bit of a situation.
You're the priority as soon as it's sorted.

[ that's how fitz thinks. order and priorities, even through the thick of his emotional and physical distress. and markus sits near the top, just after the essential conditions of collective safety have been met. ]

[saviorexe]

I’m as fine as I can be, given what’s happened. That’s what I mean.

[“Fine” is such a nebulously relative statement after literally exploding. After feeling one’s insides dissolve into nothing.]

Do what you need to do, Fitz. Like I said, I’ll be seeing you in an hour no matter what. But if you need me before then, I’m going to be wandering from car to car to see what this train has to offer.

Just don’t push yourself too hard if you’re in even worse shape than me. It’s too early to know what other effects our little adventure is going to have on our bodies.

[retravel]

Alright.
I trust you won't push yourself too hard, either.

[ how's the state of delusion, honey? is it warm?? ]

And you're right.
Just going off my experience in the Framework, we're lucky to be alive.

[ a death in the mind ought to be fatal. ]

[saviorexe]

I won’t.

[Shh. They take care of themselves. They have no problems with doing so. Let them live in their world of rainbows and unicorns and healthy coping mechanisms.]

Meaning that our minds shouldn’t have been so easily salvaged? I think we have those two young men to thank for that.

[retravel]

[ those two young men — they’re so far from his mind, that it takes him a moment to place them. ]

Don’t remind me.
Peggy woke me, too. Didn’t get the chance to mention that before.

[ in addition to the interlopers in his head with the ability to cross quantum distances, same as several in their lot, even with their heavy-handed mechanics. (Literal keys for doors, honestly, that’s about as subtle as Robbie Reyes’ flaming head). ]

I mean our lives, not just our minds. If your mind blinks out, the body should stop running. No power. It’s not all metaphors.

[ he means to say they should have died in their sleep, not awoken on the train. s’not all dreaming and hearts and ruins of ash. just kill him the old-fashioned way next time. ]

[saviorexe]

[Peggy had woken Fitz up? In retrospect, it makes sense, though in the whirlwind moments of newly awakening, it’s difficult for even an android to find his logical footing in reality again. But it's obvious now. Fitz had suffered as he had suffered, had been delegated to the role of baleful spirit with cyclical regrets within the facility. He’d need his own rescue, just as Markus did — and apparently this android will have to follow up with Peggy soon, to see just how she’s faring and to thank her for her efforts.

Later, though. His focus is still in shreds, trying to not fall into that rather familiar pit of physical dissociation (android to human to android to human again, how much can be rubberband between the two before a fissure cracks through his brain/programming?) so he focuses only on the conversation at hand. One thing at a time for now.]

Maybe we never lost our minds. Only a sense of self.

After the spear was removed [after they died terribly, is what he doesn’t say] we took our places with the rest of the spirits. I had no sense of anything beyond regret and fear. I thought of nothing else, and couldn’t hope to remember who I had been. But I still existed, if that could be called an existence.

[Whether or not that was why their lives in this world were spared is anyone’s guess.]

[retravel]

Christ.
I think I'm gonna be sick.

[ That's Fitz for "yes, Markus, the same thing happened to me; thank you for putting it into words." This is on par with — worse? — than nearly getting dragged to a hell dimension with Robbie Reyes. He had felt himself fading, then, more of an echo than a man, but the thoughts that replaced his own in the depths were a firm vice.

Dreams of symbols without sense. A spear that dooms and drags. They were supposed to stop, if they started to feel pain. Hadn't he asked them to stop? Had it simply been too late, or had Cain been as lost as they were? It takes Fitz a long moment to reply, instead running the scenarios and fighting disorientation. ]

Peggy saw us with the other echoes in the facility. That's why she and the others came after us.

[ Definitely gonna be sick. ]

I'll see what else I can find out on the way to you both.