meadowlark | @robert.plant

Alright folks, it only took fifty years but I put together a little somethin somethin to supplement Lance's compendium of relevant history. You might wanna read that first if you care about the bigger picture and not just the spooky scary skeletons at your back door.

It's a bestiary, aka a monster handbook. Should be everything we know lore-wise about the monsters along with a list of all the species we've run into so far. I know a few people here beat me out by eight months or something, so if I'm missing anything let me know.

I could also use some deets on the dreams from incident 2, so fill me in if you know about it.

Magical Monsters and Where to Shoot Them

I got some complaints from some non-21st century earth types the last time I talked about this, so my associate Castiel Angelofthelord McFlappywings Winchester provided some non-pop culture context for your viewing pleasure.

Whoever's in charge of the welcome pamphlet, maybe you wanna shove this in there too

If any of you assclowns edits something and ruins it I'll personally come to your apartment and put bouillon cubes in your shower head, then turn off edit rights

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

She's this badass warrior that travels around kicking ass with her hot blond sidekick girlfriend

[ Oh. She rather likes that. ]

Clarke is no sidekick, but accurate otherwise. Why do you give everyone nicknames?

I don't know, it's just

You know

A thing

Less weird than calling them by their name all the time, also it's got flavor

Why would it be weird to call someone by their name?

It's impersonal
It's boring
Plus have you heard how much I use nicknames? It's like every other sentence. Swap that out with your real name and tell me it doesn't feel a little weird

You do realize when you are speaking to someone, they understand you are speaking to them without having to repeat their name every sentence.

Hey, do I come to your house and tell you which way to hang your toilet paper

Interesting you liken your nicknames to toilet paper.

Yeah, I know what I'm about
They're crappy
Let me live my truth

I will accept this "Xena" title.

Will you explain what your false name means?

I am SO glad you asked.

[ And that's the god's honest truth. He got to have a similar conversation once before with Cecily, but it wasn't about his name so much as music in general. ]

I work this... weird job back home that makes it so I can't use my real name, just to be safe. Robert Plant's the lead singer of the best band of all time.

Check it out.

@robert.plant wants to share a song with you.

From your skills I assumed you are a warrior back home. What is weird about that?

[She's glad he is not with her when she listens to the song, because she jumps when the drums kick in, startled by the loud part.]

That is ... rock music, yes?

Yeah, it's not so easy where I'm from. Sometimes you can't just chop something's head off and be done with it. I wish.

Sometimes I have to pretend to be a cop
you know
law enforcement

so I can figure out who's head to chop off, first.

[ Seems like the most succinct yet accurate way to put it. ]

Classic rock. Don't let anybody tell you all rock's the same, because it isn't and they suck.

By something you mean creatures, not humans.

A long time ago on our Earth there was music like that too, before the Praimfaya, the nuclear apocalypse.

Most of the time, yeah. They don't look like creatures, they blend in, so it gets complicated.

Wait
So you're not like distant past, you're like post apocalypse?

So more like the slugs than the other monsters.

Yes. The earth and most of humanity were destroyed. My people were the few who survived on the planet, and eventually, the earth came alive again. We had to start from the beginning, everything was lost, so our civilization comes across as older.

Yeah, more or less. Close enough.

Wow
Well, sorry for your loss. I've been through an apocalypse or two, and an apocalypse world or two, too. They both blow.

So I guess that makes you less Xena Warrior Princess and more Zenon Warrior Princess.

don't worry about that one it doesn't matter

We survived the first apocalypse, but there was a second one after I died that most of my people were lost in. It is a tragedy but all the more reason I intend to find a way to bring them here if possible.

If you figure that out, give me a shout. I got a kid back home I need to pull on through.

If we can, we will. Would you prefer this place to there? Obviously we have no better to go back to.

Well, considering back home we pissed off God and he's been scripting our entire lives
I'm kind of thinking here's treating us better so far

Why is your God angry with you?

He wanted something from me I wasn't willing to give

I did not know gods waited for humans to give them things, I assumed they took them.

Yeah sometimes they do.
There's this annoying thing called 'free will', that's just about the only thing he can't screw with. He can snap his fingers and end the planet all day long, but he can't make me do anything I don't wanna do.

Dude's pissed.

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