@tomoe.mikage

[jinshi]

I need advice on how to pretend to be human.

Comments

[variate]

You're doomed.

[jinshi]

I am not! I attended a human high school for a short while without suspicion. I'm certain I can manage this.

I read one of Nanami's books to prepare for that, so perhaps I simply need to do the same here. The book I read at the time was some kind of biography... I believe it was called Beverly Hills High School Diaries. If I study a similar record from this place, I'll be able to confidently act as a human.

[variate]

I'm still not convinced.
Being human isn't all romcoms and biographies. [ would that be considered a biography??? look he's not gonna ask. ]
It takes work.

[jinshi]

I know that. That's why I'm asking. It's impossible for me to understand, but I need to be able to pretend as though I do.

[variate]

What makes you think it's impossible?

[jinshi]

Youkai and humans are too different. The way humans think wouldn't make any sense to me.

[variate]

[ youkai, hm. ]

That means I can't fathom the way a youkai thinks.

[jinshi]

Precisely. You're mortal. You concern yourself with ambitions and relationships that I can't understand, because for you, things are limited.

A youkai will hold a grudge for a thousand years. We don't change. We each have a nature that we act by, unaffected by morals or empathy. The other side is cold, selfish, and violent, and there's no community there because we live as we please.

It's a gap between us that cannot be crossed.

[variate]

If youkai are the ones that aren't limited, then why don't you change?
Maybe being human means being more flexible, as a start.

[jinshi]

Why should we change? We have forever. The other side is exactly the same now as it was five centuries ago, because five centuries is nothing. And that is our nature, so I can't change, any more than you could sprout wings or gills on a whim.

Hmm... Perhaps you are more flexible. But I would attribute that to your mortality. You have such a short time in which to live your lives, so you cannot afford to be patient as we can.

[variate]

I think that's your answer.

[jinshi]

Just because I know mortality makes you behave differently doesn't mean I can copy it! I don't know what you do with your lives or how you spend your time, and even if I did, I wouldn't understand why! As a youkai, I kill and I drink; as a shinshi, I follow my master's orders. That's all. You're incomprehensible to me!

[variate]

You can't be flexible?

[jinshi]

No, I can't. Could a wolf force itself to behave like a house pet? I cannot change. It's my nature.

If my master were here, that would be a different story. But she isn't, and my contract has been broken.

[variate]

What kind of answer did you want, instead?

[jinshi]

Let me see if I can explain...

Back home, before you arrived here. What did you do with your days?

[variate]

Go to school.
Go to a couple part time jobs.
Study.
Go out with friends.
Pet my cat.
I'm good at making coffee and curry.

[ be a criminal and go into the metaverse and steal corrupted hearts. ]

[jinshi]

And why do you do any of those things?

[variate]

Because I'm in high school.

[jinshi]

You're being obtuse.

Why do you attend school?

[variate]

[ hey, he can humor. ]

So, I guess the reason is because that's what society tells us we should do.

[jinshi]

I see. Why do you abide by society's demands?

[variate]

[ some of society's demands. ]

We all have to live together.

[jinshi]

Ah. There.

Youkai only care about strength. There is no community. If I wish to kill another, then I only need the strength to back it up, and none will take issue with it. More than that, it is expected that I would do so. I'm a wild fox; my nature is, at its core, violence. I am what I am.

In regards to that, the only reason I'm able to serve as a familiar is because the contract changes me. My master and I become bound together, and so the nature of my existence is changed into that of a servant. It isn't a matter of choice or obligation.

So it's impossible for me to change myself in the way that you do for your society. The best I can do is pretend.

[variate]

It wasn't then, but it could be now.
What do you want to do? Not what you are, or what you're used to. What's your choice now?

[ he's got a hunch. ]