meadowlark | @clarke.griffin

Thank you to Yalena for getting us sorted. [Sort of sorted. Sort of.] Now that we've arrived in New Tokyo and we're stuck inside for a little while, I think we should talk about some new changes that we're facing. I can't be the only one.

But first: a good number of us are here unwillingly, but we have to wait until we're fully prepped before we can go anywhere. Heading outside in these temperatures while unprepared could cost you your life. We all hate being trapped somewhere. I think that's pretty well-established. We also hate having to do anything or be anywhere when we didn't ask for that to happen. At least it doesn't seem like we were drugged, though it wouldn't hurt for Katelin and I to take some blood samples to confirm that. We'll have to store them until we get back.

As for the changes in your lives: have you noticed any? For instance, apparently I'm a lab tech at Giles Bell. I tried to set myself up for a new internship there that I could get easily, but I got ... elevated. Or hired beyond that? I'm not sure what the right terminology is here. Has anyone else noticed this? Or had it happen to them? I got permissions to take leaves from both of my jobs. And no, I'm really not prepared to work as a lab tech. I don't even know the first thing about setting up gels.

As a bit of a personal request ... does anyone think we can make pancakes in the small kitchen here? I have a craving for them. I've not really had cakes of the "pancake" variety before, but I want them now. And if you think we can, can you make them?

[This last bit is Loki's fault.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Just like it was implied that I wanted you to feed off me and expect that you wouldn't hurt me just because I was bleeding?

[Bad precedent, Caroline.]

[ really, clarke ]

you're never going to let that go, are you?

I'm not letting it go for a reason here.

Two things, which I'm sure you'll brush off, but here we go:

1. You didn't apologize, and acted like I was in the wrong for protecting myself from you.

2. I asked a purely innocent question about pancakes and cakes, and you somehow took that to be me offering you my blood. Which ... I'm still not sure is better than thinking you suddenly wanted to sleep with me.

I'm not the one who put each other on these terms. You did.

what is it with you and this apology thing? you could have killed me too, but i don't hear you apologizing for that either, so you can drop off that high horse any time now.

and the platter thing? i made a joke, you went with it, i figured you were offering. surprise, i was wrong. unlike you, i let it go. maybe you could consider that once in a while?

[ "why would i offer to sleep with you???" ]

If I attacked you out of nowhere and you defended yourself by throwing me against a wall, would you owe me an apology?

The answer is "no," by the way.

I'm not letting it go because it seems you're oddly incapable of seeing where you did wrong. Instead, it's about how protecting myself was the bad thing. I'm sorry that I was successful at that.

[It's in text, but there may be the sense that those last words are added with an eyeroll.]

if i hurt you, i'd apologize.

[ but she hadn't hurt clarke. clarke had hurt her on impulse, in expectation for a pain caroline never intended to let her feel. there was the difference. ]

i don't know what your deal is, but i'm not the heartless monster you seem to think i am.
i told you, you wouldn't have remembered. you wouldn't have been in pain. but you're the one who decided that fighting back with your creepy soul sucker powers was the way to go, and now you're mad i didn't make it easy for you. you didn't exactly let me.

I was protecting myself. That's what I do when I'm threatened.

[Even if Caroline hadn't intended to make her feel pain, Clarke only knows about the countless times she's been on the receiving end of an assault. She might speak of war, but she won't talk about herself as a victim.

Most of the time, other people are her victims. So, there is that.

(All of that is in the name of survival. So, there is also that.]

I never said you were a monster. You come off like a lot of the kids I went to the ground with. Don't take offense to that. It just means that it feels like you have a lot to prove by being as rough and brusque and weirdly cheery all at once, so that no one can show that you're scared and just a kid.

Cutting the cheery part? I've been there.

But I get the sense that you've been called a monster before. Sorry if I gave you the impression that I was with them on that.

so you protecting yourself means it's fine to hurt someone and not apologize?

[ that seems hypocritical. but, for what it's worth, clarke does actually apologize... so caroline cuts her a little slack. not a lot, but something. ]

it's fine. i'm not afraid, and i don't need you to apologize for people who aren't even here.
just maybe take your foot off the judgmental gas for five seconds next time instead of assuming the worst.

Wait. Let's back up.

Where do you think you didn't hurt me? Someone with sharp teeth biting my neck typically involves an attack. Plus, it was in a place where I could barely see, I had blood coming out of places that it shouldn't be coming out of, and who knew what was there? Monsters are an actual thing here.

[No matter what other things were involved.]

That's not me being judgmental. I think you think that couldn't be read as an attack, when I absolutely read it as one. I need you to understand that. I need that because I won't be the only person who reads it that way if there's another incident.

Again, I'm sorry if that reads like me judging you, but I was literally acting in self defense.

[And yes, Clarke has noted the continued lack of apology from Caroline's end.]

@clarke.griffin

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject