@jonathan.sims 11/26

[end_recording]

I'll skip straight to the point. Myself and the other new arrivals appear to have been an anomaly in terms of our arrival, and I at least have had some additional anomalies attached to my identity. I doubt I am the only one, among those of us who are new. Inane as these details might appear, they bear review given how very little there is we seem to know about whatever conspiracy is behind all this.

For my own fictionalized background, I am the author of a blog. [You can almost hear the air quotes around the word, like how your grandparent might refer to "Tweeter" or "The Face Book"] The posts are primarily concerned with the colonies being "faked" by the UN. My own research of course confirms this is decidedly not the case, and any popularity my blog enjoys is largely ironic. I also have an estranged "parent" who works for a company called Massive Dynamic Limited, located in New Beijing.

I welcome any insights as to whether this is all simply another elaborate prank, or if there might be some deeper meaning from whoever the hell is doing all this.


Beyond that, I have a personal request. I am in need of a tape recorder. The analog sort that takes cassettes. [Jonathan would prefer to leave it here, but this is a sufficiently bizarre request there will surely be questions. So he adds:] For personal reasons. I've done rather a lot of searching but as you might expect it is not a common item in this world, and the difficulties of constructing one and finding materials are beyond my current means. I would appreciate any suggestions that don't involve robbing a museum.

Comments

@goro.akechi

[impede]

I'd like to know everything that you were provided myself. Last month, the AI that sent us the message to come get you provided a number of individuals with messages.

Everything was collected here, so if anything stands out, do share it.

I suspect this AI wants us to prove that we're even able to help with its overall goal. That's a blind guess, however, and I may just be applying my very human understanding of behavior toward it!

@jon.snow

[998]

I suspect this AI is having a laugh at our expense.

When I asked him for guidance he told me I should be asking him about potato salad. Elsewhere in the post he admitted to trolling.

My own understanding may be limited, but I shouldn't be so bold as to believe humans the only people capable of a poor jest.

[impede]

To some degree, he may be doing that.

But we'd be foolish to dismiss everything as a joke. It's wrong to draw a conclusion before you've reviewed the evidence, after all.

[end_recording]

And it supposes we'll be inclined to help after all this nonsense?

[impede]

Aren't we doing that already? You're safe and returned to us, after all. Who says that wasn't a test all on its own?

[end_recording]

And the monsters were just a party favor?

@loki.odinson

[selfimage]

Something that was used more than 520 years in the past is something beyond vintage.

[end_recording]

I'm well aware of that, thank you. I thought some sort of approximation could be thrown together, given there's been 500 years of technological advancement.

[Jon does not understand how technology works.]

[selfimage]

Do you have a cassette copy of Footloose that you're dying to hear?

@roxas.sky

[recompleted]

i think the fake lives are just supposed to have stuff that's normal for this world
maybe blogs are really popular here

[He has absolutely no idea what a blog is. Some kind of book, he guesses?]

[end_recording]

Ah yes, they must not have had social media on... any of the "worlds" you've visited. That's all for the better. It's a waste of time, nothing but a lot of narcissistic, brainless chatter and photos of overpriced food.

[Jonathan knows what a meme is, he can explain social media to this young alien.]

[recompleted]

they might have. i didn't visit them to spend a lot of time talking to the people there.
doesn't sound like a missed much if that's all it is.

@xuanyu.mo

[laozu]

Can you give me the link to your super-cool fakey-fake conspiracy blog?

Also, just brace yourself to dream a cassette recorder-thingy into reality. It happens sometimes.

[end_recording]

Fine. Here.

[The aesthetic of the blog has an air of retro-decrepitude that could surely be achieved only with great skill in design. The numerous posts go over different theories about why the UN has faked the colonies. Some posts are almost identical except for minor details. It's a bit eerie.]

Would you care to explain that statement further? I don't recall any mention of dreaming items into existence in the Arrival Guide. The entire section on items is largely about how we don't know how the process works.

[And just in case there was any doubt about whether Jon was shaming Wei Wuxian and all the Displaced for keeping outdated notes, he links the Arrival Guide.]

Arrival Guide.txt

[laozu]

It's a theory! A theory! Did the guide mention the whole time we fell asleep and affected the world in dreams or something? Items familiar to us coming into our possession following a night's rest -- it's not THAT far-fetched to consider, so don't blame the guide or the input.

I'm just good with subconscious stuff. (╯✧∇✧)╯ And I like your fake blog, it's very maniacal and very stuffy.

[ you got a new follower as he logs it to his cyberpunk rss feed or w/e it is ]

@daisy.johnson

[evite]

[ you rang? ]

we don't have a working theory on where the items come from beyond "the glowcube in our chest makes weird shit happen"
that said, i got something from home this morning, so i can at least give a +1 to 'this is all still happening'

@worick.windor

[neutralally]

Maybe you should try taking up journaling instead. I mean, as long as we're talking long outdated methods of compiling information. You'd probably fair better reproducing a journal than a tape recorder.

Or you can get with the times. I'm sure this shit they installed in us must come with some internal note taking app or something.

[end_recording]

Oh, I invite you to try searching for a journal to buy. It's scarcely more obtainable.

But that doesn't matter. Obviously I wouldn't have specified a cassette recorder unless I specifically needed a recorder that uses cassettes.

[neutralally]

I know. But I said it would probably be easier to reproduce and I stand by that.

Fair enough. But I would have to then operate under the assumption that you somehow have a cassette that you're wanting to play on said recorder. If not, why need the recorder so badly if you have nothing to play on it?

['Personal reasons' is the response he's expecting, but he can't help but want to press the subject a bit.]

@prom.argentum

[mercurio]

uh... the fake life stuff attached to the id is new, as others have mentioned already...

a tape recorder though
i think i've seen videos on how the stuff is built

i could try and find the materials for it? it might be hard though
tape recorders are like...really really old school stuff

the tape stuff especially

[end_recording]

Yes, they are considered 'old school' even in my own time.

[Trusting other people sounds fake, but if anyone had earned the benefit of the doubt it was Prompto.]

Do you really think you could?

i can't believe prompto already on 'benefit of the doubt'

[mercurio]

i mean... no real promises it'll be very much like any of the OG tape recorders of yore
but yeah

i could give it a shot

@tony.redgrave

[redload]

what. you don't like your new fake life?

sure, it makes you sound a little crazy, but maybe you fit the bill.

[end_recording]

[Given that Jonathan lives in the basement of a paranormal research institute in a state of constant, necessary paranoia given the existence of reality-warping super entities:]

Well. I won't entirely deny that. What sort of background were you given?

[redload]

manager.

i'm assuming russian, too. gives me a chance to revive my acting career.