meadowlark | @daisy.johnson

Is that a serious question?

yes
i wasn't sure if i'd gotten the settings right

[ she considers waiting, but really... well, there's no use in beating around the bush about this. ]

i'm guessing the whole "join the team" offer is still on the table?

Edited 2019-01-04 02:10 (UTC)

It is.

Though I was under the impression that you didn't like what we were selling.

So to speak.

i get what you're selling
not super thrilled about the rules of the job, though
but i'm starting to get the idea that it's either play nice or get nowhere, and i'm really getting tired of spinning my wheels here

but full disclosure: i'm not reconsidering because morningstar suddenly became the ideal
i already have a membership card to a secret club of rogues back home, and i'd much rather get back there if i can
but fitz speaks highly of you, and from what i can tell, you're the only person currently sticking up for the freaks with blue buckets in their chest
so i'm willing to reconsider if the terms are right

What rules are the issue here?

if morningstar wants to overthrow the bourgeoisie, where's the people's movement?
there's enough weird shit going on in this place, put it out in the open
fan the flames, get the people behind you

That's not a rule.

Do you remember the kids who used to be here before?

"don't call attention to morningstar because you'll get arrested and probably die" seemed like a pretty big rule during orientation week

[ but maybe she was misremembering. her opinions of the whole safehouse lockdown thing hadn't been the highest, and daisy's willing to admit she misread their intentions. ]

you mean the local flavor?
yeah, they got moved -- i assumed to protect them from being associated with us

So, you think we're lying about that?

Morningstar isn't the first group of its kind. It's just the first one that's lasted this long. No one wants to associate with us because they know what will happen if they do. That doesn't keep us from helping people in need. All the other groups like us died. I mean that quite literally.

The kids weren't moved because of all of you. They were moved because they couldn't live in a safehouse for the rest of their lives in a city with people who want to kill their parents for not falling in line. Powerful people wanted them dead, and odds are that they'd start with the kids before the parents to send a clear message that they aren't fucking around. I've seen it before. They would be moved regardless. People know their faces. Not just the kids, mind you. But the parents who decided to stand up for themselves. Who maybe even just looked at someone the wrong way.

People like that are more important than your need to be reckless. If you think you know better than us, start a movement of your own. I'd like to see you pull it off. Speeding up the process could only be good if you have it all figured out.

Edited 2019-01-04 02:56 (UTC)

[ gaby reads her like a fucking book and daisy is livid about it. don't @ her like that. ]

i'm not interested in playing revolutionary figurehead, thanks but no thanks
my point is, supposedly we want the same things
you want us to go back to where we came from, i want to go home
you want to stick it to the man, i think most of the companies here are full of shady shit that needs to see the light of day

rather than keep telling me to keep my head down and my nose clean, help me help you, because the things i'm trying are getting me nowhere and the safehouse isn't getting any bigger

I'm telling you to keep your head down because you don't know this world. You think you know better than everything we've done. That we need your help.

You aren't the first to think you've got something to offer.

But if you join up? It's on you to prove that. Not on us to just trust that you have it all figured out.

I worked my way up. We all did. Now it's your turn.

"join up or fuck off" isn't exactly what i'd call a motivational speech
if you don't need our help, then why bother recruiting us at all?
wouldn't it just be easier to dump us right back where you found us in the first place?

We aren't telling you to "join up or fuck off." I'm telling you that we have no reason to believe that you'd be a dedicated member of Morningstar when you don't understand our need for caution. You're telling me you know better than us, and you think that you have something to offer when I had to prove myself. You think I joined Morningstar yesterday? We vet our agents. I got vetted. If you don't join – what do you have to offer? All you're telling me is you know better.

Two more things.

We're not recruiting. People join up because they want to. If we purposefully recruited from your numbers, that'd be fucked up.

Just like leaving you on the streets would be.

You don't think much of us.

Edited (one more thing) 2019-01-04 03:43 (UTC)

[ daisy paces in the living room for a solid three hours before she sends back her final reply. she's rewritten it at least seven times. ]

you really need to hone your marketing skills, gaby.

i reached out to you because i thought you had a good heart behind that shadowhunter allegiance on your sleeve. as it turns out, you're coming off like every other jaded asshole in a secret society, ready to dismiss people who haven't "proven themselves" before they can even show you what they had to offer. not a great look, and it doesn't do the woman who brings blankets to idiots who take cold showers and answers questions in the safehouse until she's blue in the face any favors either.

no matter how good your sales pitch is (and it's not very good, tbh, but you probably know that and probably don't care either), not everyone wants to pledge allegiance to morningstar. some of us have already pledged allegiance to other underground resistance groups back home, and it's a little too early to claim asylum under yours already. but that doesn't mean i don't want to work with you, or that i'm not appreciative of what you've done for us.

(and that's "you" you, by the way. my opinion on the cloak and dagger's a bit on the "burning pile of shit" side right now, but you and el have definitely done right by us as much as i think you can. i can appreciate that, even if i think you're playing hardball.)

to answer your unasked question: do i think a lot of morningstar as a secret organization? not really. sure, you can talk up all the rescue ops and underground railroad plays they're running, but neither of those are going to get my people home. but i think a lot of you because people i trust think a lot of you, and their opinions of what the organization has to offer means a lot more to me right now than my own one-star reviews of the place.

so.

if you want me to work with you, i will. but you have to be willing to work with me too.

i want to get answers about this place. real answers, not just the bullshit pr spin we keep getting from every angle we touch. i'm not doing it for morningstar, but i'm willing to share what i find out if you can help me get it done.

I'm not here to recruit you. I'm your handler. I get your lives started. Most people are appreciative because we can't just send you home. We get you started with a new life. It's not ideal. It's just what we can offer after you've been fucked over.

But I can tell you one thing.

We're not going to throw away resources on someone who can't even tell us what she has to offer, because she thinks she knows better than us. Because she thinks we should be dedicating all of our resources to her people.

We're already dedicating a lot because you're all as subtle as a brick going through Pulsar's CEO's window. The reason why no one has answers on what happened to you? Is because it's getting scrubbed.

Get your head out of your ass, Daisy. Maybe have a good long chat with your buddy Fitz. And then get back to us.

i appreciate the classy clapback, honestly, but look
what are you actually expecting me to say?

"yes, let me sign up for morningstar hazing, i'm super interested in doing garbage assignments just to prove i can keep my mouth shut"

i've already done that. i spent a solid year proving myself to an organization that promised to help me if i helped them. i got hazed by one super-serious asshole with a grizzled soldier complex — who, fun fact, also turned to be pure fucking evil with a side of "i'll give you stockholm syndrome until you love me". so you'll have to forgive me for not being super enthusiastic about repeating the process with you, considering we just met when i got dragged without consent to your farenheit 451 cyberhell.

and, obviously: it's pretty clear you don't want my help, so that's fine with me. but i CAN help you. i know i can, because that's my job back home. that's all of our jobs, back home. helping people who can't help themselves, stepping into the line of fire so others don't have to. maybe i need a little refresher course in new amsterdam 101, maybe my resume doesn't exactly scream competent five centuries in the future, but i'm not incompetent. what i don't know, i can learn.

my job is to be the shield. maybe that doesn't ring any bells for you, in this world, but it exists for me, and i'm not going to let some other organization just wash it away because they want me to pledge allegiance.

if you want my help, great. if not, i'll find someone who does.

I'm not unsympathetic to what you've been through. It fucking sucks, Daisy. Starting from nothing? No one wants to do that. And then some. Your lives are walking nightmares.

But right now? Right now, you are acting like a fucking entitled child. Everyone's due to have a tantrum or three, and don't worry, you're hardly the first from your bunch.

That doesn't mean I have to humor it.

If a cooler head ends up prevailing? Get back to me later.

@daisy.johnson — private.

@gaby

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sorry about that - your comment wasn't showing!

hakuna matata!

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