You shouldn't have to be on damage control. (he should be better than this, he shouldn't still be doing these things anymore.
goading people into making mistakes, interrogating them without remorse, refusing to be empathetic the way markus and noctis are. connor is obviously ashamed in himself, but — even that's a lie, isn't it? a large part of him still believes that what he did to jason was the right thing, to expose his loose wires, to grip him proverbially by the hair and raise him up to show everyone how great their precious friend is to the people who try to help him. the safehouse is safer without him.
and yet he wants him there to be a part of it. the duality of this has connor clenching his jaw, refusing to say something prideful. markus wouldn't be proud of that, of his boyfriend, of his trusted comrade. so it's shoved down with everything else.)
There are... more important things to discuss. Things that have no relation to the mess I've caused.
(pushing forward suddenly, connor reaches for the couch cushion and lowers himself down beside the person he now cherishes most in either world.)
It has to do with the uprising, Markus. I haven't been entirely truthful, or forthcoming — not about anything we've already discussed, we do secure our victory and you save us as a people, but... about the routes to get there. Ones I didn't think I was ready to discuss with you...
no subject
goading people into making mistakes, interrogating them without remorse, refusing to be empathetic the way markus and noctis are. connor is obviously ashamed in himself, but — even that's a lie, isn't it? a large part of him still believes that what he did to jason was the right thing, to expose his loose wires, to grip him proverbially by the hair and raise him up to show everyone how great their precious friend is to the people who try to help him. the safehouse is safer without him.
and yet he wants him there to be a part of it. the duality of this has connor clenching his jaw, refusing to say something prideful. markus wouldn't be proud of that, of his boyfriend, of his trusted comrade. so it's shoved down with everything else.)
There are... more important things to discuss. Things that have no relation to the mess I've caused.
(pushing forward suddenly, connor reaches for the couch cushion and lowers himself down beside the person he now cherishes most in either world.)
It has to do with the uprising, Markus. I haven't been entirely truthful, or forthcoming — not about anything we've already discussed, we do secure our victory and you save us as a people, but... about the routes to get there. Ones I didn't think I was ready to discuss with you...